So we left our “Beloved [Please Tell us they still are] Traveling Wacko and The Ever-Lovely Dragon Lady muddling around in the rain last night delivering their traveling buddies TE6-2 from the Islamorada Fish Company, around the corner from the Courtyard by Marriott “Ft Lauderdale Airport” [which was 3 miles from the Airport] with promises to meet up at the Port by 11:30am – the groups “official boarding time.
Packed and ready for the trip to the Port, Chucky & DL have the bags in the driveway for a quick getaway since Greg is running late and they hate to keep TE6-2, whose Airport shuttle delivered them to the Port at 11:10, waiting outside the terminal.
Now racing up I-95 – NOT - It’s a freakin’ parking lot!
And they are crawling along because some idiot got stupid and tried to merge outta the express lane causing a 3 car pileup in the two left lanes and everyone is trying to merge 4 lanes into 2 and it is a mess.
When she finally waves us forward and asks for our ID and cruise Sea Passes, Cristina discovers… She forgot her ID.
Uh-Oh!
and gets on the radio again, before walking over to the next booth for a conference and returning back with:
“You gotta make a U-Turn up there, drop her off at the Customs Office - Over there”,
<--pointing half a mile
Back,
“Come back here to take them [us] to the terminal and then pick her up on
the way out.”
As we all restrain Greg from jumping outta the car…
This little exchange continues with Greg objecting, Ms. Customs Officer Lady standing her ground and Greg finally, huffing a puffing all the way, making the U-Turn, drops Cristina off at the Customs checkpoint just behind our gate instead of going all the way back to the Customs Building,
As we all restrain Greg from jumping outta the car…
This little exchange continues with Greg objecting, Ms. Customs Officer Lady standing her ground and Greg finally, huffing a puffing all the way, making the U-Turn, drops Cristina off at the Customs checkpoint just behind our gate instead of going all the way back to the Customs Building,
<--Over There.
He makes another U-Turn across from the Customs Building, and… since Ms.
Customs Officer Lady had accidently handed him a Port Pass, he swings into an
open lane, where the officer there eyes the pass suspiciously.
Greg tries to explain the last exchange with Ms. Customs Officer Lady - Over There -->
Greg tries to explain the last exchange with Ms. Customs Officer Lady - Over There -->
and is getting
the Stank Eye from a still, just a bit wary, Mr. Customs Officer Dude who finally
looks at our passports, cruise Sea Passes, Drivers licenses, birth marks, battle scars and a
partridge in a…
[Oh wait, that’s a
different NOWAT]
and waives us through.
It is now 11:55 and Chucky has already texted TE6-2 about the kerfuffle at the gate and they responded as to their location.
Finally following all the signs to the Equinox and the LUGGAGE drop, Greg deposits the Wacky American Tourist and the Ever-Lovely Dragon Lady right where TE6-2 were waiting with S&E’s Son-In-Law [now making the group TE7 {more on why later}]
Unloading was a snap as the Baggage Porter eyed Chucky’s rigged carryon of HIS usual laptop/toiletry carryon bag, stacked with a 24 pack of bottled water [more about that later] and on top of that… HER toiletry bag which includes the all-important…
Wait for it…
Wait…
Blow Dryer.
Now you would think it would be an easy walk in with their Sea Pass, Vaccination card, Covid Test, Passport, picture of their birth mark, battle scars and a partridge in a… [Enough with the Damn Bird already] however…
They have to stop every 30 feet at a different Celebrity Security Person, to show all the above, [except the bird] until they get to the security screening where everything goes through the x-ray machine and where… as usual, she gets pulled out of line.
W.T.F.!?!?
After clearing security, he hurries over to rescue HIS beloved [yes she still is – for now] from the clutches of a very polite Security Officer who is explaining very patiently,
“I'm sorry madam but you can't take these scissors onboard, regardless of the BooBoo on your leg that needs the bandage changed every day.”
It seems, unbeknown to Chucky, she had borrowed his desk scissors and packed them in the HER newly anointed Toiletry bag, [the blow dryer took up too much room in her LUGGAGE dontcha know] to trim the gauze bandage for the stitches from the Melanoma she had removed from her shin on Tuesday [more on that later].
Chucky already knew about the need to trim the bandage and already had an acceptable sized scissor in his travel kit that he used to trim his beard that she could use.
SHE grudgingly accepted the receipt for the scissors, mumbling something in an unintelligible Cuban Dialect under her breath, and followed Chucky to the next stop to show their Sea Pass, Passport… Yeah, all that again [but no bird] and onto the ramp that turned this way up, and that way, and this way again onto the Celebrity Equinox.
The only pleasant surprise they got, still lugging the Laptop case with Chucky’s toiletry bag [regulation scissors included] 24 pack of water [hold on… well get to that] and HER toiletry bag, blow dryer included [minus the un-regulation scissors] was that they could proceed directly to their cabin, as opposed to other cruise line's procedure where they would have to go to some waiting spot, like the dining room, ‘till the cabin was ready.
If nothing else, HE was already appreciating CELEBRITY’S style.
Since this got WAAAY longer than HE planned, we'll catch up with our daring [surreptitiously secreted scissor] duo later as they meet up with TE7-2 for cocktails after unpacking.
and waives us through.
It is now 11:55 and Chucky has already texted TE6-2 about the kerfuffle at the gate and they responded as to their location.
Finally following all the signs to the Equinox and the LUGGAGE drop, Greg deposits the Wacky American Tourist and the Ever-Lovely Dragon Lady right where TE6-2 were waiting with S&E’s Son-In-Law [now making the group TE7 {more on why later}]
Unloading was a snap as the Baggage Porter eyed Chucky’s rigged carryon of HIS usual laptop/toiletry carryon bag, stacked with a 24 pack of bottled water [more about that later] and on top of that… HER toiletry bag which includes the all-important…
Wait for it…
Wait…
Blow Dryer.
Now you would think it would be an easy walk in with their Sea Pass, Vaccination card, Covid Test, Passport, picture of their birth mark, battle scars and a partridge in a… [Enough with the Damn Bird already] however…
They have to stop every 30 feet at a different Celebrity Security Person, to show all the above, [except the bird] until they get to the security screening where everything goes through the x-ray machine and where… as usual, she gets pulled out of line.
W.T.F.!?!?
After clearing security, he hurries over to rescue HIS beloved [yes she still is – for now] from the clutches of a very polite Security Officer who is explaining very patiently,
“I'm sorry madam but you can't take these scissors onboard, regardless of the BooBoo on your leg that needs the bandage changed every day.”
It seems, unbeknown to Chucky, she had borrowed his desk scissors and packed them in the HER newly anointed Toiletry bag, [the blow dryer took up too much room in her LUGGAGE dontcha know] to trim the gauze bandage for the stitches from the Melanoma she had removed from her shin on Tuesday [more on that later].
Chucky already knew about the need to trim the bandage and already had an acceptable sized scissor in his travel kit that he used to trim his beard that she could use.
SHE grudgingly accepted the receipt for the scissors, mumbling something in an unintelligible Cuban Dialect under her breath, and followed Chucky to the next stop to show their Sea Pass, Passport… Yeah, all that again [but no bird] and onto the ramp that turned this way up, and that way, and this way again onto the Celebrity Equinox.
The only pleasant surprise they got, still lugging the Laptop case with Chucky’s toiletry bag [regulation scissors included] 24 pack of water [hold on… well get to that] and HER toiletry bag, blow dryer included [minus the un-regulation scissors] was that they could proceed directly to their cabin, as opposed to other cruise line's procedure where they would have to go to some waiting spot, like the dining room, ‘till the cabin was ready.
If nothing else, HE was already appreciating CELEBRITY’S style.
Since this got WAAAY longer than HE planned, we'll catch up with our daring [surreptitiously secreted scissor] duo later as they meet up with TE7-2 for cocktails after unpacking.
Ciao 4 Now
Uncle Chuck & The still fuming about the scissors,
Uncle Chuck & The still fuming about the scissors,
Dragon Lady
Never a dull moment...makes for great reading! Still enjoying the adventures of you guys!
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